Cyclesaurus is dead

The bicyclists of Belfast and connoisseurs of awful cycling infrastructure across the world are tonight mourning the loss of Cyclesaurus.

Contractors working on the Belfast Bicycle Improvement Plan today ripped through the little dinosaur tail cycle lane on Alfred Street.

The only sign of what was a titan of Belfast cycling is a small piece of green tarmac with the distinctive stegosaurus plates on the top. It is rumoured that urban art hunters usually seen lopping Banksy paintings off London’s street walls are en route Belfast to prise away this artefact for sale on the black market.

Cyclesaurus shot to fame in 2013 as one of the main attractions of the Belfast Cycling Study Tour which brought cycling experts from around the world.

When Cyclesaurus was voted as Northern Ireland’s worst cycling infrastructure in 2013 it seemed as if its days were numbered. Just weeks later it looked like Cyclesaurus was for the chop, but alas it simply mutated into something only a mother could love.

#Cyclesaurus has grown its tail, spawned a post and a baby. Simply dreadful. @nigreenways @bollocksinfra pic.twitter.com/qpswNm4KAC

— Borghert Jan Borghmans (@StripyMoggie) January 13, 2014

Cyclesaurus was such an attraction that it even spawned a cottage industry, with a line of Christmas cards and a mug so stylish that even Hollywood (or Holywood?) stars were demanding a piece of the action.

“@nigreenways: So @mrmichaelsmiley do you want a #Cyclesaurus mug for your troubles? #asksmiley pic.twitter.com/3OxOi8W0H4”Yes please, luv a mug

— Michael Smiley (@mrmichaelsmiley) May 25, 2015

But the glory days are gone and we now await the magnificent future of the new Belfast Bicycle Network, all of which was predicted in the distant past by a local mystic.

DRD could have avoided the #Cyclesaurus debacle; obvious cycle path extension? http://t.co/d9B0UIj081 pic.twitter.com/EZoIUhPyYL

— NI Greenways (@nigreenways) January 8, 2014

So farewell then Cyclesaurus. Our grandchildren will cycle in gleeful freedom around our city streets wondering how a generation could get things so wrong with so little paint, and also who thought allowing motor cars this close to a city centre was a good thing?

So long then #Cyclesaurus you magnificent beast – we hardly knew ye.. https://t.co/2W62XPXFTz pic.twitter.com/oCxAalov1I

— NI Greenways (@nigreenways) January 21, 2016

But wait – there’s more bad news for Belfast as the contractors have indicated they will reach and obliterate the world famous Bin Lane as early as next week.

It’s an emotional time to be on a bicycle in Belfast.